Love Broken Page 11
“Katie, stop.” He sits up, bringing his phone closer, allowing me to see every beautiful feature, including the stress etched on his face. “Katie…” Saying my name again, and every second he doesn’t finish that goddamn sentence, I lose those seconds off my life.
“I miss you, Katie Beller. Like fucking hell.”
My breath stalls.
“I’m so sorry for our fight. I said some shitty things. I’m shitty.”
“You’re not shitty, Chase.” It’s rare I use his first name.
“No, I am. What I said about your work. I didn’t mean it. I would love you—I mean, I would love any place you worked at. I wouldn’t care. I just want to continue to still be a part of your little world.”
My heart starts racing. The emotions I’ve been pretending don’t exist are suddenly working their way up my throat. I feel as if I’m being pulled in two different directions. My heart wants one thing while my brain is fighting it. And my brain isn’t giving up very easily.
“I have to ask.” God, I fear the answer. “The last time we spoke. A woman. You hung up on me. Who was—”
“My sister. Just my sister.”
Relief washes over me. I was worried he was going to tell me worse. His expression looks worse off, though. Maybe all this isn’t to win me back or to create a future between us. Maybe it’s just to ease his conscience. Dammit!
“What do you want from me, Chase?” It’s a simple question but allows for an array of deeper answers. I would take the simple response. Accept the short route out of this. But I also need to know.
“I want you, Katie Beller.”
“But why? Why me, Chase?” My voice cracks, the intake of breath almost choking me.
“Because you do something to me. When I’m not getting to look into those spelled eyes, I’m unsettled. When I can’t hear your voice, it offsets me. When I can’t watch you chew on your lip when you’re close to losing it, I lose everything. Sleep, focus, care for anything.” He pauses just enough to catch his own breath. “Please don’t get in your head about us. I’m sorry I didn’t call. I’m an ass. Fuck, I was fucking jealous of that guy carrying you. I acted like a dick. But I can’t take it back. And I’m so damn sorry.”
Being on FaceTime doesn’t allow you to hide your emotions. I can’t mask the tears welling up behind my eyelids.
“Say something, please.”
I slowly inhale air into my lungs. I’m strung tight in a trap of emotions I’m not used to. I’ve been living the motto that the only thing in life that matters, the only steps I take that are important, are the ones I do myself. But with Chase. I see this vision. This future. That he may be in it. And that scares the fuck out of me. I have this heart that’s been dead or just seriously broken for most of my life coming alive and wanting to beat the hell out of my chest just at the thought of him. And that seriously freaks the shit out of me even more.
But hearing him confess, his pleas for us to be an us. To be something. That does something to me too. Gives me hope? Fills that empty dark place I’ve secretly wished to have filled? I always thought I missed my chance at this. And maybe I haven’t.
Sometimes with Chase it feels like I can’t breathe. He suffocates me with all the emotions he causes me to feel. Sadly, I question, is this the “aka” love that all those people talk about? Or is this the real thing? Is this why it hurts and feels so strong? If I don’t open up to Chase, will I be missing my chance?
There may always be that doubt about us and how different we are. I will always be who I am. And he will be him. But maybe life has something up its sleeve for us. Opposites attract and all that shit. I just don’t want to miss my chance. And by being so scared of the ‘what might bes’ with Chase, I might do that.
I just need to take that goddamn leap.
Jump off that cliff, in serious hopes that Chase and his words catch me along the way.
“I miss you too, Chase Green like the color,” I reply just above a whisper.
I’m not weak by any means, but there will always be something Chase Green does to me. “Weak in the knees” by SWV is sadly playing in my head during this serious moment, but fuck it. He makes me feel like nothing I have ever experienced, and that song was seriously awesome in the nineties. I offer him a reassuring smile and the relief on his face is evident. His fingers lift, as he touches his screen.
“Thank you for not giving up on me.”
I blush, as if I can feel the warmth of his fingers caressing my cheek. “You don’t have to thank me,” I say, feeling suddenly shy.
“I do. Because if I messed this up, then I wouldn’t have been able to forgive myself.” He sits up straighter, his shoulders going up and down with each deep breath. “Not being able to see you, hear you. God, I want nothing more than to touch those lips for real. Not just this FaceTime bullshit. I need you. All of you.” His words mimic exactly what’s swirling in my head. It’s been so long since Chicago. “Tell me you’re signing up for the next event in Denver. Because if you tell me no, I’ll fucking kidnap you and force you to—”
“I’m going to sign up for the rest of the tour,” I blurt out. I hadn’t made up my mind. Kristen has been blasting my phone with creative emojis wanting an answer, but I still wasn’t sure.
But right now.
Listening to him.
I am.
“You’re coming.”
“Well, not at this moment. But on the rest of the tour, yes.”
His eyes light with that special Chase Green Mischievous. “If you were here with me right now, I’d make you come so hard you’d lose feeling in your legs.”
At that I laugh. I imagine he probably could succeed at that. I love the way his smile reaches his eyes. He looks happy. Far from the man in the beginning of our phone call. God, I missed our chats. These intimate moments, where we felt free to be ourselves. I snuggle into my bed, bringing my knees to my chest.
“Well, that sounds like a challenge, Green. But just my legs? Sounds half ass if you ask me.” My skin breaks out in a feverish layer of goosebumps at the darkness his eyes overtake. My hands rise to touch my neck of their own accord. My fingers brush at my neckline, knowing this is one of his favorite spots.
“You’re evil. You know my dick is hard as stone right now.” He maneuvers so he’s using only one hand to hold his phone.
My imagination is working overtime on where his other hand just disappeared to. I bring my hand in between my breastbone, sliding it down my belly button, just to the lining of my underwear.
“Do you think it’s comparable to how wet I am?” I know I’ve won this one when I notice his arm movement. He’s stroking himself. “I wish you were here so I could show you. Have your fingers deep inside me. Soaking them.” I close my eyes and dip my fingers inside my panties. Lo and behold, I’m actually drenched. I hum as I begin to pleasure myself, the mental image of his beautiful, thick fingers on my mind.
“You’re killing me, baby.” His voice is hoarse and I can tell he’s working himself harder. “Show me your pussy. I want to see what you’re doing to yourself.”
Without care, I flip the phone so it views outward and he gets an eyeful of my hand working myself in a lustful frenzy.
“Fucking beautiful. I want to be there sucking on you, my tongue inside you, my finger so deep, you’re fighting for air, the pleasure overbearing. Yeah. Faster. Fuck, fuck…”
I begin to clench, my thighs fighting not to close. I moan Chase’s name loudly as I explode all over my finger. I hear Chase’s brutal grunt and know he’s right behind me.
Feeling sated and perfect, I almost don’t open my eyes. I flip the phone view back on myself and pop one lazy eye open. “That was fun.”
“We need to do this in the flesh and soon.”
Agreed.
Chase starts into a light conversation about his day, telling me about some important scouting for an NHL hockey team. If he catches the eye of some big-time scouts, there’s a chance he could be drafted to the big times, and
all his problems would go away.
I yawn, asking him what problems he’s referring to, and his response is generic, telling me the one where we are a hundred miles apart.
I feel like I blink and when I open my eyes again, I notice my phone is resting on my chest. I look at the time and it’s almost five in the morning. I pick up my phone, but Chase is gone.
“Oh, shit.” I must have fallen asleep on the phone. I notice I have a missed text message.
Bates Motel: Thank you for showing me this amazing happiness I never knew existed. Sweet dreams, Katie Beller.
I clutch my phone to my chest, as I turn to my side and snuggle into my pillow.
No, thank you, Chase Green, for showing me how to live again.
The Westin Hotel, Denver Colorado—Two weeks later.
I climb out of the cab, offering the man a hefty tip. His impeccable speeding skills got us to the hotel seven minutes early. He helps me with my bag, and I head into the Westin hotel in downtown Denver. The hotel isn’t historical like Chicago’s, but more modern and chic.
Anxiousness floods through my body as I check in. Excitement. Nervousness. A vibration of all sorts of shit, knowing that in just minutes, I get to see Chase. In the flesh.
I lift my phone from my bag and send him a quick text that I’ve arrived. He replies instantly, telling me he’s coming for me. A layer of goose bumps flutter over my skin at the thought of his hands on me, in me. The flush in my cheeks has me looking around, making sure no one’s staring at me. I hurry and check in, and make my way to the elevator when I see him.
In all his manly glory. When our eyes meet, goose bumps cover my entire body just at the way he’s staring at me. Swallowing me with his gaze. My blushed smile spreads across my face and we both step forward into action, heading to one another—
“Oh my God! I didn’t think you were coming until tomorrow!” I stop suddenly when Kristen appears in front of me.
Shit! “Heeey!”
She comes in and hugs me while I look over her shoulder at Chase.
Sorry, I mouth and pull away.
“So, what happened? Did I mess up your days? Shit, I’m sorry, I would’ve picked you up from the airport.”
“No, no, it’s fine. I just thought to, um, surprise you. Be a good client and come early.”
“Oh! Okay.” She’s looking at me quizzically. “What’s up with you? You look funny.”
Probably because I’m trying to smile but resemble more of a constipated person. But I’m super nervous. I suck at playing it cool, and Chase is walking up behind us.
“Me? Pfft, nothing. I’m just glad to be here.” Oh God, don’t come up to us—
“Hello, ladies,” Chase speaks, startling Kristen. She whips to her side, taking him in.
Another look of confusion on her face.
“Mr. Bates. Hello… I… I wasn’t expecting you until tomorrow. Sorry, was your room all set up?” She lifts her hand, which is holding a bunch of papers, sifting through the bundle. “Yeah, I have you arriving tomorrow. Man, I’m off my game. First Katie, now…” She looks at him. And fuck. Turns to look at me. Don’t let it click. Don’t let it click—
Fuck.
It clicks.
“Hmmm… Interesting. Well, I hope the hotel was able to accommodate the two of you.”
I’m just nodding like an idiot, my head resembling a broken bobble head. Chase is standing there with his hands in his pockets and that damn sexy smile on his face.
Kristen turns her attention fully on me. “Well, since you’re here, wanna go catch some dinner? There’s a really good sushi place downtown.”
Chase doesn’t move his head, but his eyes are going back and forth.
“Yeah, um. I’m kinda tired. Gonna just order some pizza. Bring my bags up and what not.” Oh my God, I’m not even holding any bags, since I left them with the concierge.
“Hmmm…” Is all she says. She looks at Chase, back at me. “So, I assume then you’re just going to head up now?” This cannot be going any worse right now. Kristen is clearly trying to call me out. Not sure why. This all could be a very strange coincidence.
“Yeah, super tired. Traveling is exhausting.” Says the person whose flight was under two hours.
“Hmm… Mr. Bates, how about you? You hungry?” Now she’s just starting trouble.
I gape at Chase, wondering how he’s going to get out of it.
“Just ate, sorry. Thanks for the offer, though. I was just headed… to the gym… huge workout comin’ on.”
I’m going to kill him.
The look on Kristen’s face pretty much says, thanks for the TMI, and shakes her head. “Well, alright then. Why don’t you go take that nap. Drinks later then. No excuses.” She waves to Chase and turns, taking off down the long hotel corridor.
The moment the door shuts behind us, I’m up in Chase’s arms, my back slamming against the wall. My legs wrap around his lean waist and his lips are on mine.
“God, I’ve missed you,” he moans, devouring my mouth, delighting me with the sweet taste of mint on his tongue. His grip is lethal, squeezing my ass through my yoga pants as he presses his already hard cock into me. “Feel that? That guy’s been like that since the second I met you. You make me hard as hell all the damn time.” He prolongs our kiss, taking my lips fully, his tongue mingling with my own.
This feels like heaven and hell mixed in one. We can’t seem to get at each other fast enough. Chase increases the pressure of his grip, grinding himself into me. We both moan at the contact.
“You always taste so sweet.” He releases my mouth, working his way to my bottom lip.
“The red bull vodka I had on the flight should take credit for that. Why are our clothes still on?” I moan, going straight for his belt buckle. His phone vibrates in his front pocket, which is a nice add-on to our hot make-out session. I grab for it, pulling it out.
“Hmmm, not a bad add-on.” I turn the screen over. “Sterling Marketing wants to get in on this action,” I say, wiggling his phone between us.
Working his hands up my ribcage, he suddenly stops, reaching for the phone. “Give that to me.”
The call ends and starts ringing again. Same caller.
“Your marketing company sure is eager to talk to you. Want me to answer and tell them you’re busy?” I joke, pretending to answer the call.
Chase’s demeanor changes, grabbing for his phone. “Don’t.”
“Why, you’re not into threesomes?” Totally kidding since I’m definitely a one-on-one kinda girl.
“Katie, give me the phone.” Again, call missed and a third time, the phone vibrates. He catches me off guard, snatching the phone from my hands. Tossing the phone, his hands are back on me, cupping my breast through my thin T-shirt, squeezing. His thumb and index finger take latch of my nipple and pinch.
Phone quickly forgotten, my mouth is back on his. “Clothes, Chase, now.” I need nakedness, sex, lots and lots of orgasms.
His hands become ruthless, fondling my chest while he sucks on my lower lip, kisses my chin, my neckline, his hips pushing into mine.
“So eager, aren’t we?” He chuckles into my neck, his lips wet and inviting on my heated skin. Maneuvering his hands, he reaches for the hem of my pants and dives in. His fingers travel down in between my thighs, pushing my underwear to the side. He groans, discovering how wet I already am. Using two fingers, he smears my juices around my sex. “Damn, baby, you’re fucking soaking.” And he’s pushing two fingers inside.
I forget just how good it felt to have him touch me. Mimicking his fingers with my own does his fingers no justice.
“More, please,” I moan, dropping my head back against the wall. His warm mouth is back on me, kissing me feverishly. He maintains a slow but aggressive pace as he continues to finger fuck me. I’m quickly losing my grip on my orgasm. Chase can feel my insides gripping him, so he pulls out slowly. Taking a moment to grab my vision, he slides back in. Each time pushing deeper. It’s when I feel his kn
uckles at the opening of my sex that my body trembles with need.
“Fuck, yes, more.”
“Such a little beggar you are.” He laughs, but grants my wish. His fingers less calculated and greedier, he works me faster, harder, taking my mouth, his tongue colliding with mine. Each thrust of his fingers is matched with his groin rubbing into me. The feel of how hard he is makes me want him, crave him with an animalistic urge.
“Fuck, Chase, I’m gonna… Fuck, ahhh…” And with him slamming roughly into me I come all over his hand, my walls capturing his fingers in a death grip.
Chase eases up on our kiss, slowly pressing small wet pecks around my lips, down my chin, and across my collarbone. As I catch my breath, I pull my head up, my eyes on his.
“Holy shit, that was awesome.”
Chase busts out laughing.
“That was just a preview of what I have planned for you.” He pulls his fingers out of my pants, lifting them to his mouth. He’s not going to do that. Before I can swat his hand away, or die of embarrassment, he sticks his fingers, covered in my juices, into his mouth.
“Fucking perfect,” he says as he licks them clean, making a popping sound as he pulls them out. “It’s like getting dessert before dinner.”
I cover my face. “Ew, Green, you watch too much porn. That’s not really a thing.” I mean, I don’t think it’s a thing. My long résumé of sexual partners agrees.
He pulls us off the wall, walking us toward the bed. “Well, it’s a thing for me. You’ve been teasing me with that sweet little pink pussy of yours. And ever since that first night, I’ve been thinking about how sweet it is. And how you’ve been taunting me on FaceTime. I might just take some to go, for whenever you’re not around.”
Ew! How can you take juices to go?
“That was just an appetizer for me, though. It’s time for the main meal.” He tosses me on the bed.
“Clothes off, beautiful,” he requests as he does the same, lifting his shirt up and over his head. He doesn’t break eye contact as I sit up and pull my shirt off. He tosses his onto the floor. As I shimmy out of my pants, he unbuckles his. I pull my thong down with mine, leaving me bare, but still, he doesn’t take his eyes off me.